misskass: (Kingdom Hearts II // Riku & Mickey)
[personal profile] misskass
Title: Chakram vs. Cerberus
Author: Miss Kass
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts. AND FINAL FANTASY VII LOLWTFWTFWTF.
Rating: C FOR CRACK G.
Characters: Axel, Vincent.
Word Count: 312
Summary: No plot whatsoever. Axel and Vincent try to kill each other.
Spoilers: LOLNONE. THIS IS PURE WTF!CROSSOVER!CRACK FOR CICI ([livejournal.com profile] cici_chan).
Disclaimer: DISNEY AND SQUEENIX PWN ME, I DON’T PWN THEM.



Axel rolled his eyes as he picked his way through the bushes surrounding the Forgotten City. "Why'd they send me? Demyx would've been a better choice, but no, he had to go and steal some stone from the Underworld, and good old Axel's the one who gets sent to the watering hole. When I get back from this, I'm sicking Larxene on him; see how much he likes lightning shoved up his ass." He sighed and continued sneaking, making his way towards some guy he was apparently supposed to kill.

Unfortunately, his muttering drew the attention of said guy, and the cloaked man tensed, fingering his gun – Cerberus – and readying himself to shoot the oncoming stranger. Soon enough, Axel had found himself close enough to the man to accurately hit him with a chakram, and he summoned them silently, staying away from the water's edge. When the man heard him stop, he spun around and fired three shots in succession, right at Axel's head.

The redhead ducked under the bullets, doing some quick thinking before standing up, the chakrams vanishing. "Hi! I'm Axel, and I've come to kill you. Byebye now." Hah, like that'll work. "Uh, don't shoot?"

The gun didn't waver, and Axel gave the mysterious man credit; he wasn't stupid. "Hi! I'm Axel, and..." He trailed off, not really wanting to finish that sentence with a gun pointed at his head.

"Vincent," the man replied, unmoving.

"Ah, good. So, now that we're acquainted, feel like lowering that gun?" Axel raised his hands, showing that he wasn't holding any weapons.

"No."

"Right then. I’ll be going." The redhead backed away slowly, his hands still raised. Watching the gun warily, he created a portal and backed through it, only relaxing when he appeared back in the castle. "That's it. Next time I'm sent out there, I'm bribing Lexaeus to take the job."

----------------------------

I also subjected the people at [livejournal.com profile] axel_isnt_reno to this cracktastic masterpiece here.
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March 2011

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